I took hormonal birth control for almost 10 years before a pulmonary embolism almost took me out in 2017. A simple blood test revealed that I have a genetic disorder that causes blood clots when my estrogen is increased. Why couldn’t my OBGYN done some blood work before prescribing me those pills when I was 18?
After my PE i knew I needed a non-hormonal option, so I also went with a copper IUD. I had asked around and gotten a lot of similar stories to Katie’s; the pain is crippling, take time off of work, etc. I took a sick day for my appointment. I was terrified. My then boyfriend (now husband) was out of town and I was starring down the barrel of this appointment alone. Thankfully, a girlfriend called to ask what I was up to the night before. I told her how nervous I felt. She took the morning off work, picked me up and drove me to my appointment and held my hand during the procedure. I’d describe the insertion as not as intense as others have had it, but certainly not something I’d want done everyday!
When i returned home after, my sweetie pie had stocked our apartment with comfort food snacks for me, and laid out a heating pad on the couch for my recovery. For the next few days, it felt like a very intense period. I was uncomfortable, but it was manageable.
I think what led to my more positive experience with my IUD is exactly what inspired Katie to write this newsletter: SPEAK UP! If i hadn’t told my friend, if i hadn’t voiced my fears to my boyfriend, if I hadn’t asked others for their experiences, this would have been a traumatic memory instead of one that fills me with gratitude for my community.
The same thing happened to me Julie. Except my PE came after about 2 months on birth control. My doctor prescribed me birth control over the phone and never talked about the risks and side effects. I am so thankful for an IUD as an option now, but totally agree that the insertion pain was beyond what I expected.
SO glad you put that out there. I'm on my 4th one since my daughter was two. I LOVE this method of BC, but had geared myself up for the intense pain every time. Each dr making it seem like it was no big deal. I justified the pain because they made me feel like I was overreacting and I'd tolerate it once every 5-7 years for the luxury of the BC that was best for my body. This last time, the dr couldn't find the strings to pull it out. After literally digging around in there for 20 mins, she finally suggested anesthesia. A 2 hour visit to the hospital from check in to check out and the old IUD was out, the new was in (probably placed better) and I had no pain because I was completely knocked out. Insurance paid 100%. It shouldn't take a complication to get that level of care. In 5 years when I get my next and final IUD, I'll be pushing for that same procedure.
I had a C section in Dec and afterword was told I would be given Motrin first to see if that did the trick. I don’t know if this was because I was still numb? But once the spinal tap wore off they gave me a pain med through my IV but it didn’t work. I had to advocate for myself to even get a pain medication that actually did something. I kept saying “you guys cut through like 8 layers of my body I’m clearly not a drug addict coming in here to score pills, I need something else that will work.” And they did, I wasn’t in pain the rest of my hospital stay but bloody hell why did I have to fight for adequate pain meds in the first place. It was major surgery!
I also highly recommend the book Ejaculate Responsibly by Gabrielle Blair (aka DesignMom on the internet). She touches on the burden of birth control being unfairly put on women and the pain data on IUD insertion vs vasectomy.. guess which one is more painful but the other is treated far differently..
It’s amazing honestly what women go through. I was on birth control pills for years, after my second baby I got the Mirena IUD. It hurt, cramps….nausea (I get sick when I’m in pain) but it passed. Then I had to get the “string” trimmed twice 🙄 because it was “poking” my husband. I said “that’s how it works!” Lol. Then after idk 15 years, yes I know too long I had it removed and replaced. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 53 and my doctor said you don’t need this iud anymore, let’s get rid of it. Fine…she’s like ok on 3! She pulled it out and my whole uterus cramped it was awful. Like mammograms, everything feels barbaric.
it’s absolutely ridiculous that women are forced to go through this. i’m curious if your partner would get a vasectomy? i never understand why birth control decisions are always for women to deal with. re- cancer- if ovarian cancer runs in your family (it does in like, i have brca1) another option would be to get your tubes removed. i did that as a birth control method (we have one child and are done having kids) but also because ovarian cancer usually starts in the tubes, so it can be cancer prevention too.
Katie, I used to work in an OB/GYN office as a Phlebotomist. I would sit in my lab and actually hear the screams and cries from women getting an IUD inserted. It freaked me out. My daughter on the other hand said it wasn't bad for her. But SOMETHING has to be mentioned to the patient that it can be very painful . Things need to change with Doctors poo pooing procedures. Thanks for being you !! Xo
I got an IUD placed just over 5 years ago. I had managed to avoid any hormonal birth control up to that point, but I reallly wanted a set it and forget it method. I had heard 2 things prior to talking to my doctor: you can get a copper one to avoid hormones and it’s an unbelievable pain to have it inserted. Upon chatting with my doctor (who I really do adore), he told me that since I’d never had a child, copper stood the chance of being unbearable to insert, and would likely cause me regular pain and discomfort once in. He suggested a low hormone option and then let me know he always schedules an ultrasound for the insertion. He and the ultrasound tech work together to make sure it’s going in with as little guesswork as possible. And while I can’t say there wasn’t any discomfort, I truly believe that my pain was minimized because I have an incredibly empathetic doctor who prioritized my comfort. All that to say - there’s always a chance my body just didn’t experience the pain others do, but it’s also worth advocating for your doctor to place it with an ultrasound. Funny enough, when I went to get it replaced a few months ago it nicked a polyp on its way out, delaying the insertion of a new one. Which now, I’ll get to have placed while under anesthesia after they remove the polyp next week. So I guess I’ve got another 5 years til I can test my ultrasound theory.
I’m at the point where I need to get my IUD removed. It’s been in over a year longer than it should be, but the trauma from getting it inserted has kept me from going back. I too, was under the impression that it would be a procedure I could do on my lunch break, so that’s what I did. It was awful. I’m looking at also doing the non birth control route, but I’m also childless by choice. There are many perks to having an IUD, and I don’t regret getting it, but pain management upon insertion should be a MUST.
If it’s any comfort, I found my most recent removal a little uncomfortable but not painful. I coughed when the NP told me to and it was out! On the other hand, Both my IUD insertions were so painful I either passed out or barfed. Driving to the most recent removal I was sobbing and very close to a legitimate panic attack. But it ended up being very bearable and a non-issue. Not trying to downplay your fear at all! I 1000% get it. But if you want it out, you can definitely handle it!
The lack of knowledge around women’s reproductive care even in the OBGYN space is absolutely appalling. My IUD experience was a walk in the park compared to many others, but I was heavily medicated and a topical anesthetic was used - and I only chose an IUD after lengthy talks with my doc about the fact that another pregnancy could literally kill me and I don’t want to have to take pills or be swapping out a nuvaring for the remainder of my menstruating years. The fact that they only JUST started testing tampons and pads with actual blood instead of saline in 2023 shows just how far behind anything involving menstrual/reproductive care is.
I was on progesterone only pills for 5 years until I had a gyno who suggested I look into an IUD. I was not great at remembering to take my pills at the same time so I loved that it was a set it and forget it type of birth control. I was given meds to soften my cervix before the procedure and told to take 4 ibuprofen about an hour or so before. It still hurt horribly. I was told I could hang out in the room for as long as I wanted but I felt awkward so I left after 15 minutes or so. Cut to me sitting in my car in the parking lot (yes I drove myself - don’t recommend) for another 30 minutes because I felt like I was going to pass out. Thankfully I was in grad school so I could take the rest of the day off to lay on the couch and deal with the cramping.
Removal wasn’t as bad but I definitely also had some mild cramping.
Now, something I don’t think gets talked about enough with IUDs is whether the information and anecdotes you get from your friends, etc are from people who have had an IUD without ever having a baby or after having a baby. I have now had both. It’s a wildly different experience. I had my second IUD placed 12 weeks after giving birth and it was relatively painless. I am an IUD evangelist but this is always something I talk about with my friends and those who are curious.
But yeah it’s crazy to me how we are just expected to grin and bear all of this as women. I always think about the men’s birth control study that was ended early because of side effects and then the side effects listed were everything women deal with regularly with hormonal birth control. But we don’t have the luxury of not putting up with it if we want to have that added control and protection over unwanted pregnancy (among many other valid reasons for birth control use).
I had an IUD the copper non hormonal one for many years. I was lucky not having a bad time with insertion or removal, but over time it did make my periods heavier. Ultimately my husband got a vasectomy to take one for the team. He said it was the best day of his life to not have to worry about accidental pregnancy and he wished he'd done it sooner. We've both been married before and had our kids in our first marriages. Anyway, I've heard other horror stories too about insertion. My doc almost gave me the hormonal one by accident but the error was caught in the brief conversation before the insertion. Initially the doc tried talking me out of the IUD, which I thought was crazy (I was single at the time and he said it doesn't protect from stds) so I ended up switching to the female ob in the same practice and never looked back.
Had migraines, debilitating, for 10 years. Turns out (after so so many doctors appointments) it was my birth control. Also, was put on BC in college because my periods were irregular and I was bleeding a ton. Why? Turns out I have endometriosis and also ovarian cysts.
Also I have the kind of hpv that never fully clears so during stress can show up and had my make obgyn fold his arms and ask me why I was cheating on my husband. Unrelated but pisses me off still 😂
My IUD insertion was so awful. I have a high pain tolerance but I screamed. When it was finally over I thought I was okay but nearly passed out trying to get dressed. I was so woozy I couldn’t call for help - I had no energy to raise my voice past a whisper. I was just hoping someone would check on me and they finally did. They said I was white as a ghost and I was sweating like crazy. I sat there for almost an hour trying to feeling safe to drive and finally had to get my husband to come and get me.
It’s been 14 months and I’m still not convinced I like it. It is convenient but that’s been the only real benefit so far. I have more pain than on the pill and I’ve had some other issues and I have been wondering if they could be connected to the IUD. I’m reluctant to talk to my doctor about it because so far they want to blame weight and age and anything else. It’s frustrating.
Literally the most painful procedure of my life. I was told to take ibuprofen and I’d be fine to go back to work immediately afterwards. I left the doctors office shaking so violently I could barely walk to my car, cramping so bad I couldn’t drive for several hours.
I also just wrote about this VERY TOPIC on my Substack, and the lengths I went to, to find a Doctor that offered sedation for my most recent removal and new IUD placement.
And now with the new CDC guidelines I feel like you, “it’s about effing time!!” I also am so very pissed that we have to fight so so hard to be heard and believed by the medical community.
I took hormonal birth control for almost 10 years before a pulmonary embolism almost took me out in 2017. A simple blood test revealed that I have a genetic disorder that causes blood clots when my estrogen is increased. Why couldn’t my OBGYN done some blood work before prescribing me those pills when I was 18?
After my PE i knew I needed a non-hormonal option, so I also went with a copper IUD. I had asked around and gotten a lot of similar stories to Katie’s; the pain is crippling, take time off of work, etc. I took a sick day for my appointment. I was terrified. My then boyfriend (now husband) was out of town and I was starring down the barrel of this appointment alone. Thankfully, a girlfriend called to ask what I was up to the night before. I told her how nervous I felt. She took the morning off work, picked me up and drove me to my appointment and held my hand during the procedure. I’d describe the insertion as not as intense as others have had it, but certainly not something I’d want done everyday!
When i returned home after, my sweetie pie had stocked our apartment with comfort food snacks for me, and laid out a heating pad on the couch for my recovery. For the next few days, it felt like a very intense period. I was uncomfortable, but it was manageable.
I think what led to my more positive experience with my IUD is exactly what inspired Katie to write this newsletter: SPEAK UP! If i hadn’t told my friend, if i hadn’t voiced my fears to my boyfriend, if I hadn’t asked others for their experiences, this would have been a traumatic memory instead of one that fills me with gratitude for my community.
Yes! Speak up ❤️
The same thing happened to me Julie. Except my PE came after about 2 months on birth control. My doctor prescribed me birth control over the phone and never talked about the risks and side effects. I am so thankful for an IUD as an option now, but totally agree that the insertion pain was beyond what I expected.
SO glad you put that out there. I'm on my 4th one since my daughter was two. I LOVE this method of BC, but had geared myself up for the intense pain every time. Each dr making it seem like it was no big deal. I justified the pain because they made me feel like I was overreacting and I'd tolerate it once every 5-7 years for the luxury of the BC that was best for my body. This last time, the dr couldn't find the strings to pull it out. After literally digging around in there for 20 mins, she finally suggested anesthesia. A 2 hour visit to the hospital from check in to check out and the old IUD was out, the new was in (probably placed better) and I had no pain because I was completely knocked out. Insurance paid 100%. It shouldn't take a complication to get that level of care. In 5 years when I get my next and final IUD, I'll be pushing for that same procedure.
Thank you for sharing!
I had a C section in Dec and afterword was told I would be given Motrin first to see if that did the trick. I don’t know if this was because I was still numb? But once the spinal tap wore off they gave me a pain med through my IV but it didn’t work. I had to advocate for myself to even get a pain medication that actually did something. I kept saying “you guys cut through like 8 layers of my body I’m clearly not a drug addict coming in here to score pills, I need something else that will work.” And they did, I wasn’t in pain the rest of my hospital stay but bloody hell why did I have to fight for adequate pain meds in the first place. It was major surgery!
MOTRIN?!?!?!?!
I also highly recommend the book Ejaculate Responsibly by Gabrielle Blair (aka DesignMom on the internet). She touches on the burden of birth control being unfairly put on women and the pain data on IUD insertion vs vasectomy.. guess which one is more painful but the other is treated far differently..
It’s amazing honestly what women go through. I was on birth control pills for years, after my second baby I got the Mirena IUD. It hurt, cramps….nausea (I get sick when I’m in pain) but it passed. Then I had to get the “string” trimmed twice 🙄 because it was “poking” my husband. I said “that’s how it works!” Lol. Then after idk 15 years, yes I know too long I had it removed and replaced. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 53 and my doctor said you don’t need this iud anymore, let’s get rid of it. Fine…she’s like ok on 3! She pulled it out and my whole uterus cramped it was awful. Like mammograms, everything feels barbaric.
it’s absolutely ridiculous that women are forced to go through this. i’m curious if your partner would get a vasectomy? i never understand why birth control decisions are always for women to deal with. re- cancer- if ovarian cancer runs in your family (it does in like, i have brca1) another option would be to get your tubes removed. i did that as a birth control method (we have one child and are done having kids) but also because ovarian cancer usually starts in the tubes, so it can be cancer prevention too.
One of my favorite topics!!!! Why is this all on women?!
Katie, I used to work in an OB/GYN office as a Phlebotomist. I would sit in my lab and actually hear the screams and cries from women getting an IUD inserted. It freaked me out. My daughter on the other hand said it wasn't bad for her. But SOMETHING has to be mentioned to the patient that it can be very painful . Things need to change with Doctors poo pooing procedures. Thanks for being you !! Xo
thank you- WOW...screams and cries should not be normal!
I got an IUD placed just over 5 years ago. I had managed to avoid any hormonal birth control up to that point, but I reallly wanted a set it and forget it method. I had heard 2 things prior to talking to my doctor: you can get a copper one to avoid hormones and it’s an unbelievable pain to have it inserted. Upon chatting with my doctor (who I really do adore), he told me that since I’d never had a child, copper stood the chance of being unbearable to insert, and would likely cause me regular pain and discomfort once in. He suggested a low hormone option and then let me know he always schedules an ultrasound for the insertion. He and the ultrasound tech work together to make sure it’s going in with as little guesswork as possible. And while I can’t say there wasn’t any discomfort, I truly believe that my pain was minimized because I have an incredibly empathetic doctor who prioritized my comfort. All that to say - there’s always a chance my body just didn’t experience the pain others do, but it’s also worth advocating for your doctor to place it with an ultrasound. Funny enough, when I went to get it replaced a few months ago it nicked a polyp on its way out, delaying the insertion of a new one. Which now, I’ll get to have placed while under anesthesia after they remove the polyp next week. So I guess I’ve got another 5 years til I can test my ultrasound theory.
I’m at the point where I need to get my IUD removed. It’s been in over a year longer than it should be, but the trauma from getting it inserted has kept me from going back. I too, was under the impression that it would be a procedure I could do on my lunch break, so that’s what I did. It was awful. I’m looking at also doing the non birth control route, but I’m also childless by choice. There are many perks to having an IUD, and I don’t regret getting it, but pain management upon insertion should be a MUST.
If it’s any comfort, I found my most recent removal a little uncomfortable but not painful. I coughed when the NP told me to and it was out! On the other hand, Both my IUD insertions were so painful I either passed out or barfed. Driving to the most recent removal I was sobbing and very close to a legitimate panic attack. But it ended up being very bearable and a non-issue. Not trying to downplay your fear at all! I 1000% get it. But if you want it out, you can definitely handle it!
The lack of knowledge around women’s reproductive care even in the OBGYN space is absolutely appalling. My IUD experience was a walk in the park compared to many others, but I was heavily medicated and a topical anesthetic was used - and I only chose an IUD after lengthy talks with my doc about the fact that another pregnancy could literally kill me and I don’t want to have to take pills or be swapping out a nuvaring for the remainder of my menstruating years. The fact that they only JUST started testing tampons and pads with actual blood instead of saline in 2023 shows just how far behind anything involving menstrual/reproductive care is.
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I was on progesterone only pills for 5 years until I had a gyno who suggested I look into an IUD. I was not great at remembering to take my pills at the same time so I loved that it was a set it and forget it type of birth control. I was given meds to soften my cervix before the procedure and told to take 4 ibuprofen about an hour or so before. It still hurt horribly. I was told I could hang out in the room for as long as I wanted but I felt awkward so I left after 15 minutes or so. Cut to me sitting in my car in the parking lot (yes I drove myself - don’t recommend) for another 30 minutes because I felt like I was going to pass out. Thankfully I was in grad school so I could take the rest of the day off to lay on the couch and deal with the cramping.
Removal wasn’t as bad but I definitely also had some mild cramping.
Now, something I don’t think gets talked about enough with IUDs is whether the information and anecdotes you get from your friends, etc are from people who have had an IUD without ever having a baby or after having a baby. I have now had both. It’s a wildly different experience. I had my second IUD placed 12 weeks after giving birth and it was relatively painless. I am an IUD evangelist but this is always something I talk about with my friends and those who are curious.
But yeah it’s crazy to me how we are just expected to grin and bear all of this as women. I always think about the men’s birth control study that was ended early because of side effects and then the side effects listed were everything women deal with regularly with hormonal birth control. But we don’t have the luxury of not putting up with it if we want to have that added control and protection over unwanted pregnancy (among many other valid reasons for birth control use).
I had an IUD the copper non hormonal one for many years. I was lucky not having a bad time with insertion or removal, but over time it did make my periods heavier. Ultimately my husband got a vasectomy to take one for the team. He said it was the best day of his life to not have to worry about accidental pregnancy and he wished he'd done it sooner. We've both been married before and had our kids in our first marriages. Anyway, I've heard other horror stories too about insertion. My doc almost gave me the hormonal one by accident but the error was caught in the brief conversation before the insertion. Initially the doc tried talking me out of the IUD, which I thought was crazy (I was single at the time and he said it doesn't protect from stds) so I ended up switching to the female ob in the same practice and never looked back.
Had migraines, debilitating, for 10 years. Turns out (after so so many doctors appointments) it was my birth control. Also, was put on BC in college because my periods were irregular and I was bleeding a ton. Why? Turns out I have endometriosis and also ovarian cysts.
Also I have the kind of hpv that never fully clears so during stress can show up and had my make obgyn fold his arms and ask me why I was cheating on my husband. Unrelated but pisses me off still 😂
My IUD insertion was so awful. I have a high pain tolerance but I screamed. When it was finally over I thought I was okay but nearly passed out trying to get dressed. I was so woozy I couldn’t call for help - I had no energy to raise my voice past a whisper. I was just hoping someone would check on me and they finally did. They said I was white as a ghost and I was sweating like crazy. I sat there for almost an hour trying to feeling safe to drive and finally had to get my husband to come and get me.
It’s been 14 months and I’m still not convinced I like it. It is convenient but that’s been the only real benefit so far. I have more pain than on the pill and I’ve had some other issues and I have been wondering if they could be connected to the IUD. I’m reluctant to talk to my doctor about it because so far they want to blame weight and age and anything else. It’s frustrating.
MAJORLY. so hard to talk about and it should not be.
Literally the most painful procedure of my life. I was told to take ibuprofen and I’d be fine to go back to work immediately afterwards. I left the doctors office shaking so violently I could barely walk to my car, cramping so bad I couldn’t drive for several hours.
I also just wrote about this VERY TOPIC on my Substack, and the lengths I went to, to find a Doctor that offered sedation for my most recent removal and new IUD placement.
And now with the new CDC guidelines I feel like you, “it’s about effing time!!” I also am so very pissed that we have to fight so so hard to be heard and believed by the medical community.
Exactly, it is ABOUT TIME!!!